DEVIATIONS
by Anma Natsu
Zenbi Press
YA Romance
304 pages
“We’re just deviants, that’s all. You, me, Taka. We’re deliciously, wonderfully deviant.”
Scarred
Seventeen-year-old Miho has spent years struggling to deal with the aftermath of a tragic accident. Between the nightmares, PTSD, depression, and her parents’ abandonment, the burden of being the sole survivor has her near her breaking point. The darkness whispers to her, promises of release from the pain, from being a burden, if she is willing to give up.
Battered
While the girls love classmate Shinji’s blond hair and blue eyes, to his father it’s all the proof he needs that his wife was unfaithful. Unwanted and unloved, Shinji is used to his mother’s hatred, his brother’s indifference, and his father’s violence. Male or female, he doesn’t care; his regular string of sexual partners helps him temporarily forget that he will soon have to leave the only person he loves, if he can survive that long.
Controlled
As the first-born son, Shinji’s best friend Taka has known from birth that his future was not his own. He’ll go to the right schools, get the right grades, take over the family business, and produce a perfect heir with a perfect wife, just as his father dictates. Taka’s wants and desires are irrelevant; he can’t change his fate nor escape it, any more than he can protect the only person who keeps him sane.
Attracted
Drawn to one another like moths to a flame, the three find themselves torn between what society deems acceptable and a happiness they never dreamed existed.
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EXCERPT
I forced myself to my feet to walk the last few blocks home. In the genkan lay a pair of black high heels, right in the spot I always put my sneakers. Though annoyed at my routine being disturbed, I pushed the shoes aside, knowing they meant she was home. I straightened her shoes for her before leaving mine in their usual spot and headed inside.
“Tadaima.” As usual she didn’t answer. Not like I expected this time to be any different, but I had to try.
Considering how wet I was, I should have gone straight to the laundry room to strip, but I wanted to see her. Even knowing how much it would hurt and that I wouldn’t get what I needed, I really just wanted my mom right then.
I found her standing in the kitchen, looking out the apartment window at the sun setting over the horizon. “Mama?”
“Oh, Miho. You’re home.” She looked in my general direction, her brown eyes as dull and lifeless as her too-thin body. My moment of happiness at her coming back faded as I looked at my once beautiful mom not even pretending to care that I was there. Her voice was the same as it had been for years now. Tired. Drained. Another thing I ruined. I killed her. Her and my once loving, patient dad.
I try to be a good daughter who never complains, not about my problems, not about my fears, and not about being alone for most of the last three years. But no matter how much I try, I can’t seem to bring them back, not even a little. If only they’d never had to see my twisted body, maybe they wouldn’t have broken. They’d stayed with me through all the skin grafts, the months in the hospital, the loss of my sanity. They helped me survive it all, but at the cost of any love they’d once had for me. My hideousness had been too much to bear for such pretty, perfect-looking people.
The mom in my memories would have fussed at me for standing there soaking wet. She’d have grabbed a towel and started drying my hair while chiding me for not having an umbrella. She’d have run a nice warm bath for me and had hot chocolate and cookies waiting in the living room. The shell of a woman standing in front of me never even noticed the puddle forming at my feet.
And yet, for all that my parents hated me, I kept trying; another way of atoning, another way to punish myself.
And here she is . . .
ANMA NATSU!!!
Anma Natsu is a Texas-based writer of stories that explore love in its various forms, including how it can be both good and bad parts of our lives, sometimes at the same time. Her not quite conventional stories span a range of genres but rarely follow the standard fare.
When she isn't writing, writing, voraciously reading manga and light novels, playing too many video games, and hosting her own podcast, Anma works as a web developer and steals all the free time she can to snuggle with her sweetie and her pets.
You can find her online at AnmaNatsu.com. She's also active on Facebook, Google+, and Goodreads.
Find out about Anma's upcoming works and get exclusive content by signing up for her mailing list at http://anmanatsu.com/subscribe
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1 comment:
Thank you for featuring Deviations! Good luck everyone with the giveaway :-)
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